This week Ben & Jerry's released a new ice cream flavor called Schweddy Balls. Saturday Night Live fans will recognize the name from a skit featuring Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon, with guest star Alec Baldwin, in which Baldwin's character, Pete Schweddy, shared a family recipe for a dessert treat.
Not everybody is happy with the new flavor, however. The American Family Association is chafing over Schweddy balls, threatening to boycott Ben & Jerry's. But why should their panties be in a twist over something as harmless as an ice cream flavor? After all, ice cream preference, like so many other things in life, is a personal matter and does not affect anyone else negatively. The AFA has no business peeking into someone else's refrigerator or judging them on what goes into it. Whether a person likes a nice Chubby Hubby, has an uncontrollable desire for Cinnamon Buns, or prefers the lip-smacking taste of Schweddy Balls, it's their own business and it affects nobody else. Nobody has a right to force someone else to eat a flavor that is not to their liking. The AFA certainly does not have to enjoy Schweddy Balls if they are not so inclined. They are welcome to stick with plain vanilla, if that is their true, innate flavor preference. However, if they were honest with themselves, they might realize they've been eating vanilla merely to fit in with everybody else, rather than because they truly prefer it. If they would just expand their horizons and experiment a little, they may realize they were born to be Schweddy Ball lovers after all.
As for me, I enjoy plain vanilla too. But nothing beats the flavor of Schweddy Balls. From the first lick of that creamy goodness to the last bite of those round, sticky globes, I'm hooked.